Sep 5, 2013
Thoughts for Thursday: Trusting
This week's Thoughts for Thursday has to deal with trust. How much should you trust someone? For the past 8 years, I cared for someone who I thought cared for me. We talked about being together, and I trusted him with how I felt about him. He didn't respond much, so I backed off and we continued to just be friends. But as soon as he stopped talking to me, I wonder if I trusted him too much, so I had to let go. I won't lie- it does hurt. That's almost 10 years I can't get back, but it's 10 years of a lesson learned.
When you trust someone, you trust them to not hurt you. When you trust someone, you hope that they can keep your secret. When you trust someone, you open your heart to them. But when you trust someone too much, you open the door of becoming dependent on their trust. "I need to tell you a secret..." or "I trust your decision..." can become a part of every conversation. With that, though, that also opens the door for betrayal. They may get tired of you asking for their trust (especially if you don't reciprocate it), and it may end your friendship.
On the other end of the spectrum, you have to trust yourself in everything you do. Not only will you make good decisions, it can also help you to trust others. Trusting yourself goes above and beyond trusting others. If you can't build trust in yourself, how are you going to trust others? I know it can be hard, especially if you've been hurt or disappointed so many times. I've been there. But the only way you'll know if you can trust someone is to test the waters. Trust them just a little at a time, until you can build that skyscraper of trust. It may take weeks, months, or even years. Take time. Don't rush trust in yourself or that person. Otherwise your skyscraper will crumble and you can't rebuild it.
Do you have trouble trusting people?