This is how I feel sometimes!
It is no secret that I'm single. I think I mention the fact that I'm not married or in a relationship too often, if you ask me.
But this year, I vowed that I would start dating again and have a social life away from the screen. Sure, the idea of playing Bingo Blitz ("Where did they get my cards? Rejected Bingo Cards, Inc.?") sounds a lot better than going to a restaurant to talk with someone you barely know but now than I am finally trying to figure out what I want to do with my life, dating seemed like a logical step towards being more social.
I have to admit something, though - dating scares the carp out of me. Why? I haven't gone on a date in years. Sure, I've hung out with guys as friends, but I think that hardly counts as dating. When you're in your twenties, dating is fun. You are not really tied down to what you want out life, and you're more carefree. Someone asks you on a date while you're in Walmart, trying to shop? "Sure, no problem! Here's my number.". But when you hit 30, it makes you think that you need to be more refined and sort of sophisticated without being intimidating.
I'm pretty awkward in social situations, so asking and answering questions in a coherent matter seems daunting. When a prospective date asks me what I do for fun, I usually rattle off something that I think makes sense and then prays he doesn't think I'm weird. I know you're not supposed to worry about what other people think, but it's human nature to want a prospective mate to like you.
Maybe I will eventually get the hang of date conversations, flirting, and whatever rules there are when it comes to first dates. Until then, I think I will seduce them with my awkwardness and geeky references.